Adoption Update #2

I figured I would just start numbering my updates as they come in at this point. Our adoption coordinator from CAS emailed all the waiting Haiti families today with some news. It's not really any good news, but I guess it's better than nothing. I feel more discouraged now, because there are so many steps to getting a referral and it's not guaranteed, especially if the birth parents change their mind and want to take the child back. I just don't know how much longer we can wait......I need strength. This is one of the hardest things we have ever done and our patience is being tested to the core!! Maybe this info will be beneficial to other waiting families as well:

Haiti Family Program Update

December 16, 2014

Dear Families,

We hope this finds each of you well and enjoying this holiday season.  We wanted to send out an update to all families in the program giving you some important information we have received from our representative in Haiti, Daniel. 

Daniel along with other Agency representatives, were invited to attend a meeting at the US embassy where the Consul General of the Embassy as well as other diplomatic officials, Haitian and foreign authorities such as the IBESR Director Mme Villedroin, and M. Guillame along with Mme Sawadogo the acting Hague Convention representative for Haiti were present.  Also in attendance were several judiciary officials for Haitian courts, including two Judge d’Enfants for the Port-au Prince jurisdiction, attorneys, and crèche directors.  

During this meeting, discussion was made of the progress that IBESR was making in implementing the Hague Convention.  Also discussed was ways that IBESR could be more efficient in the midst of changes to match available children to waiting families.  IBESR indicated that they are currently understaffed but are working to move through the process in accordance with Hague.  They indicated that non-Hague cases (those with I600A), would continue to be processed and they want to deal with these cases prior to processing their first Hague case.  

There is however a slowdown in the matching process of children to families, as IBESR must confirm that the child is fully adoptable.  To this end, they have instituted the following process before the child can be matched with a family.

1.      First, if the child has living birthparents they must appear twice or even three times to IBESR.

2.      The first meeting with the birthparents is for general information on adoption and what this means. They want the birthparents to fully understand the implications of placing their child for adoption.

3.      IBESR then has an additional one or two meeting with the birthparents and at the final meeting, if the birthparents are still in agreement, they sign a pre-consentment document indicating they are in agreement to move forward with the procedure for their child to be placed for adoption.    

4.      The case will then be submitted to the Judge d’Enfants which officially registers the family’s consent for an adoption (in this case an international adoption).  Once this document has been signed by parents and submitted to Judge, the parents have one month to reconsider their decision.  Once this time frame has lapsed the child’s file returns to IBESR so they can then officially match the child to a waiting, approved family. 

The process above has slowed down the matching process, as IBESR must wait until all of the above steps are completed before a child can be matched.  Also, if the birthparents change their minds, then the child cannot be placed for adoption.  As a result, the time frames from submission of dossier to being matched with a child is increasing. 

As many families are requesting young children 0-3 years of age and many preferring females, the wait for a referral will be longer.  However, we were pleased to hear from our representative that IBESR has indicated that they will be releasing the first of the New Year, a list of files of children that are ready for adoption, but for whom no family has been found yet.  These children will be older children or children with special needs.  We are hoping we can assist in finding these children families. 

On another note, crèche’s in Haiti have indicated that they continue to submit files of children to IBESR for the matching process.  Many of the crèche’s are not able to accept new children into their homes until some of the waiting children are placed.  Also, some of the children that crèche’s are caring for are not adoptable, as families sometimes due to family issues and poverty, place the children at a crèche temporarily.  This of course is putting a strain on all the crèche’s to care for the children as often a portion of the adoption fees paid by families go to support the work of the crèche and caring for the children.  

Our representative in Haiti is very proactive in going to IBESR weekly to check on the status of pending files to see if any of our waiting families have received matches.  When he has news on any of our cases, he will communicate that to your program coordinator.  Our in country representative will continue to attend meetings with Embassy and IBESR officials as they occur and update us on the continuing progress that Haiti is making with Hague adoptions.

We hope this update has been helpful in understanding the current status in Haiti and their progress towards implementing The Hague. It is a slow process, which is understandably hard for waiting families but we are encouraged to hear they are working and being provided technical assistance by our Embassy.

Feel free to contact your program coordinator if you have questions about this update.

We hope you and your family have a wonderful Holiday season!

Adoption Update

Not much news, but we decided to email our coordinator over the weekend to see if there was ANY updates regarding our dossier. She called me immediately Monday morning and we spoke, but she decided to reply to our email as well since my husband, Will was not in on the phone conversation. I'm thinking we will not receive a referral until Spring/Summer 2015 :( Below is our update:

Dear Will and Amorie,

I spoke with Amorie by phone this morning, but since I did not get to speak to Will I thought I would follow up with an e-mail as well.

As we discussed by phone, we are still waiting to hear that IBESR has approved your application and matched you with a child.  Our last matches were in September.  These two families had registered their dossiers with IBESR in July 2013 and were officially matched in September 2014.  We have not received any matches since then and continue to have Silvia and Daniel check in with IBESR on a regular basis on the status of other dossiers and matches for our families.  We have two more families that submitted dossiers in 2013 that we anticipate will receive the next referrals and then 5 families(including you), who submitted dossier in 2014(registered with IBESR in March). 

Silvia and Daniel attended a meeting last week at the US embassy regarding adoptions in Haiti.  In attendance was the Consul General of the embassy, the IBESR director, several judiciary officials, directors of creches and legal representatives of agencies.  The embassy is meeting with IBESR on a monthly basis to provide technical guidance with implementation of the Hague and to encourage IBESR to deal with the cases already submitted.  IBESR has indicated that they wish to clear up all non-Hague cases first before processing their first Hague adoption, but they did not indicate how many pending cases they had overall.    

Silvia and Daniel will inform us when your case has been approved and when you have been matched with a child.

In regards to you US immigration approval, it expires in June 2015.  You will need to request your one time free extension 90 days prior to the June deadline which requires an update to your home study.  I would advise that you begin the update process in February so that you can submit the request for extension in April. 

Your fingerprints however expire in March, so you will need to contact USCIS in February either by e-mailing them or sending to them a request to renew your fingerprints with a copy of your current immigration approval.   

I will let you know as soon as I have any news regarding your case. 

I hope you both have a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I will be out of the office starting this Wednesday but will be back on Monday.  Let me know if you have any other questions or concerns and I will be happy to talk with you.

Good news for Haiti CAS families!

We found out last week that two families from Carolina Adoption Services (CAS) received their official referrals from IBESR! It's bitter sweet news,  in that IBESR is finally issuing referrals out, and that CAS is part of that group, but sad because we are still waiting for our official referral.  I'm happy and excited for the two families. I know one of the families through email and Facebook conversations. She has been waiting for over a year, so I know she is truly excited.  Hopefully we can learn from her experience during her bonding trip, any information we may need to know for when we travel.  I'm still hopeful and optimistic that we will hear something within the next six months.  It's still really hard waiting and not knowing when things will happen. I feel like my family and friends think it's not going to happen at all lol. I tell them we just have to wait and be patient, over and over and over. I just really have no other information. :( :(

In other news, I'm busy with graduate school. I decided I needed to do something during this waiting period. I applied to The George Washington University Graduate program-Clinical Management and Leadership. I was accepted and started a couple weeks ago. All the work and reading definitely helps keep my mind off of the adoption.  Also, my sister is getting married in a few weeks, so I'm excited about that as well :)

Still no news.... :(

I feel I need to update my blog, but we still have no news on our adoption. Still waiting for a referral to be approved by IBESR.  It' been over six months since our dossier was submitted. This is waiting is the hardest thing ever!!!!!!

Donations

Our adoption coordinator, Allie Hamel has decided to take a trip down to Haiti to visit Carolina Adoption Services partnering creche Maison des Anges at the end of this month.  An email was sent out by the agency asking if anyone was interested in donating items needed for the children at the orphanage.  I think the main things that are needed are children's medicine, crib sheets, toiletries, and toddler clothes. I took a trip out to Wal-Mart and picked up a few items. Below is what we donated. Last week we drove to Greensboro to CAS and dropped off the items to Allie. It was our first time actually going to the agency, so it was kind of cool to see where all the behind the scenes decisions are made.  Then today we received a Thank You card in the mail from Allie.  When Allie returns from Haiti, she will update us on what is going on with the referrals and any changes taking place. Our dossier has been in Haiti since January 23rd and still no word on anything.  The waiting is becoming so hard......

Checking In-IBESR

I decided to email and check in with our adoption coordinator, Allie last Thursday. It's been three months since our dossier was submitted to the orphanage and I had not heard anything regarding our status.  A few days later she replied back with a little good news. Our dossier was currently in IBESR and our registration # is 00606!! Our dossier will remain in queue until it's our turn to receive a match.  She feels like referral times right now are somewhat unpredictable due to the backlog from the past few months and the new changes that were made. She is hoping that other families in our group who have been waiting longer receive their official matches soon and are invited for their 2 week bonding trip.

Outside of our adoption, we have finalized some plans for our summer vacations.  In June we are going to Orlando to attend the Family Life-Weekend to Remember marriage conference. While there we will go to Disney World.  For our anniversary in July, I managed (with a LOT of effort) to get tickets to the Beyonce and Jay-Z concert at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, July 15th.  Looking forward to both of these trips and hopefully it will take my mind off of the adoption for a little while.

Color Me Rad-5K

Haiti adoption update break!  Yesterday, Will and I participated in our first 5K run.  We actually had a pretty fun time. The name of the event, Color Me Rad-5K was held in Raleigh, NC at the Walnut Creek Amphitheater.  It's a 5K run but they make the event fun and exciting by doing what's called color bomb.  As you run (or walk) the race, an array of colored powder is sprayed and thrown at you from all directions.  Along with that, there is music, dancing and picture taking. It's a great event!!

http://www.colormerad.com

Hague!

It's official, today Haiti became a Hague Adoption Convention!!  It basically means there are more stringent laws put in place to protect and safeguard the adoptive children and prospective families in the adoption process. 

Now the big question is, how will this affect OUR current adoption process?  Will this make things run smoother, faster, quicker?? I really hope so.  It seems as though no one really knows or has the answers. We will just have to continue to wait.  70 days since our dossier arrived in Haiti......

Notice: Adoptions from Haiti to Begin Under the Hague Adoption Convention on April 1, 2014

On April 1, 2014, the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption (Convention) will enter into force in Haiti.  The United States will be able to process Convention intercountry adoptions from Haiti that are initiated on or after April 1, 2014.  However, please note that delays may occur while Haiti’s adoption authority, the Institut du Bien-Être Social et de Recherches (IBESR), implements a Convention-consistent adoption process, including finalizing the schedule of in-country fees. 

Understanding the Hague Convention

The Hague Adoption Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoption (Hague Adoption Convention) is an international agreement to safeguard intercountry adoptions. Concluded on May 29, 1993 in The Hague, the Netherlands, the Convention establishes international standards of practices for intercountry adoptions. The United States signed the Convention in 1994, and the Convention entered into force for the United States in April 2008. Read thefull text of the Hague Adoption Convention.

The Hague Adoption Convention applies to all adoptions between the United States and the other counties that have joined it (Convention countries). Adopting a child from a Convention country is similar in many ways to adopting a child from a country not party to the Convention. However, there are some key differences. In particular, those seeking to adopt receive greater protections if they adopt from a Convention country. (See our chartcomparing the Convention process and the non-Convention process.)

Convention Facts

• It requires that countries who are party to the Convention establish a Central Authority to be the authoritative source of information and point of contact in that country. The Department of State is the U.S. Central Authority for the Convention.
• It aims to prevent the abduction, sale of, or traffic in children, and it works to ensure that intercountry adoptions are in the best interests of children.
• It recognizes intercountry adoption as a means of offering the advantage of a permanent home to a child when a suitable family has not been found in the child's country of origin. It enables intercountry adoption to take place when:
  1. The child has been deemed eligible for adoption by the child's country of birth; and
  2. Proper effort has been given to the child's adoption in its country of origin.
• It provides a formal international and intergovernmental recognition of intercountry adoption, working to ensure that adoptions under the Convention will generally be recognized and given effect in other party countries.

http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_alerts_notices.php?alert_notice_type=notices&alert_notice_file=haiti_5

From Haiti 2 Home (T-Shirts)

Received our "From Haiti 2 Home" T-shirts in the mail today. These t-shirts were being sold as a fundraiser by an adoptive mom in the Haiti adoption Facebook group.  Love these shirts and the message! Me and the hubby both purchased one. Would like to wear them when we travel to Haiti.

Free stuff is always nice :)

So in three days (March 23rd), it will be two months since our dossier arrived in Haiti.  Seems like an eternity even though I know it could be another four months or more before we hear anything about our referral.  I wonder what they are doing with our paperwork right now. What is going on?? Have they chosen a child for us? Are the birth parents being interviewed? I wish I knew! This is driving me crazy, lol.  Of course people are starting to ask questions about our adoption status. It's a somber feeling when you have to keep telling them you know nothing and are just waiting :(

Since I never win ANYTHING, I had to post about the little contest I entered on Facebook.  The Haiti Market Facebook page decided to have a contest and give the winner one of their new handmade metal cross necklaces.  All I had to do was "like" their page and post a message in the comments section.  I think there were around 60-70 entries.  The next day they messaged me and told me I was selected and they will send me my necklace in the mail.  Below is a picture of the necklace.

HAND-MADE by Haitian Artisans: Crosses are handcrafted using metal from old oil drums. Workers cut, then hammer designs into the metal. Cross Necklaces are made by Apparent Project artisans. The beads are also made at the Apparent Project artisan house.
No two items are exactly alike! They are similar, but unique.

http://www.markethaiti.com/index.html

My necklace when it arrived

I love this organizations! They do great things for a great cause. You can read more about the Apparent Project below in one of my previous entries. I'll wear this close to my heart. Hopefully this is a sign! Lord, let us please hear something SOON!!!!



When You Believe

I love this song by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. They lyrics to this song give me much hope as we move forward with our adoption.

"When You Believe"

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts, a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could, oh yes

There can be miracles when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

Oh yeah, in this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'll say

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see the way, get through the rain
A small but still, resilient voice
Says hope is very near, oh

You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe
I believe, I believe
Just believe
You will when you believe

Memorable Haiti keepsakes (artwork & jewelry)

Discovered Etsy www.etsy.com for the first time last night. If you have never heard of it, it's a pretty cool site where people that are into crafts, display their work and sell it online. There were a few things from the Haiti Adoption search I did that I really like. The first two are personalized wall art items. I would hang these in the baby's room. Maybe have his name engraved with the date we brought him home or the date he was born. 

Hand embroidered country hoops

Personalized Haiti Love Map

These others are jewelry items that I saw that I would like maybe after we confirm our match. Just something to keep with me and wear close to my heart and as a reminder of what is to come :)

Trische Cameron who is a mother in the Haiti Adoption Facebook group posted pics of her son's room to show the Haiti art that her and her husband made. I asked her if I could post her pics to my blog. I LOVE the Haiti cut out that is on the wall, with the American flag as well. I definitely will have to find someone who would be willing to make this for me.

I Wished for You....

My first post of the new year. I have a feeling this is going to be a great, unforgettable year for us!! Now that I'm about to turn 35 years old in a few days, I feel like there are things I want to experience in life. Meaning do different things, take risks, be spontaneous! Not that I haven't taken a few mild risks in life, but if in the next year we may be bringing a child home to live with us, now is the time to do some crazy fun things:) First thing I decided to do for the new years was to chop off a chunk of my hair last week and go back to the style of having bangs. It was a little scary, but I like it and it makes my forehead look less huge in pictures and makes me look a little younger, haha. I also went skiing and snow tubing for the first time! My husband and I took a trip to Banner Elk, NC which is in the western part of NC. We stayed at a little cozy B&B about five miles from Sugar Mountain Ski Resort. I'm glad that we experienced skiing, but I don't think it's something I would do again lol. We also just signed up for our first 5K run in April! Wish me luck on that one. 

Sugar Mountain Ski Resort

Since my last post, a few things have moved forward with the adoption. We had our fingerprints taken at CIS in Durham, NC. Two weeks later we received our I600-A approval from the US Department of Homeland Security.  This was a huge step because this approval is saying the US Government is allowing us to bring a foreign child into the United States.

This approval was the last step in completing our dossier. We sent it off for French translation and it was back a week later. Seeing the French translation on all of our documents is kind of cool.  At this point we gathered all of our documents together and started making copies. We had to make four copies of each document. I never did count how many documents it was, but seemed like hundreds. As you can see below, I took a pic of us trying to get all the dossier documents in order, with copies and then the final stacks. 

Meanwhile, I had some thought of possibly doing an adoption fundraiser.  International adoption is VERY expensive.....period! Will and I both have our reservations about doing fundraisers, so if we do decide to pursue this idea, then we will probably do the Apparent Project bracelet fundraiser. You can read all about the Apparent Project here: www.apparentproject.org It's a great cause for the women and families of Haiti and also for those of us who are adopting and want to raise funds to cover some of the expenses.  I decided to order one of the bracelets myself just to see how they look and the quality. I was actually pleasantly surprised!! The bracelet is very nice (see below)

If we decide to do the fundraiser in the spring, we would get 150 of these bracelets (multi-colored) and sell them for $8.00 each. $4.00 would go back to Haiti and we would keep $4.00 for our adoption fund.  Pretty cool!

I was doing some searching online a few days ago and somehow came across a forum or page that had books on families that adopt. I saw this book titled "I Wished for You" which is about a mother bear that adopts a baby bear and she tells him about how she wished for him for many, many months he grew in her heart and loves him very much as her own biological son. I read a lot of the reviews on Amazon and everyone raved about how it is such a good book to read to children who have been adopted.  I could not help but to order it that day.  When the book came, I almost shed some tears. It's very heartwarming and makes me feel so happy to know that we will soon have a child to love. I will save the book and read it to our son when he arrives.